Its not like that ER you no

So yesterday, the abscess on me arse and my sceptic belly button were makin it really difficult to sit down let alone do anything else, and Jamal were getting annoyed.

I rang that NHF Helpline and they tole me to get down to casualty.

We left Destiny and Orlando at ome watchin Hollyoaks and took Baby Candice Junior with us. Jamal were bein really caring. When we got there the woman on the desk told me that there might be people filmin for a BBC Three show called Bizarre ER, she said if I didn't want to be filmed to let er no. I said yer wot? Katie Price didn't get to were she is by sayin no. Turns out they were right interested in me and wanted to film me.

Jamal said he'd go get Baby Candice Junior some Coke from the machine cos she were thirsty. He brought me back a Coke too and some cheesy wotzits.

The telly in the waiting room was on that Antique Roadshow. F*ck that I said and I went and got the remote from the lady and changed it to Xfactor. That Wagner is too funny LOL!!!

Anyways eventually they asked me to come through to a cubicle. It were too small for all of us so we left Baby Candice Junior in the waiting room cos she were asleep and Jamal came with me to hold my hand. The nurse said she needed to get some gloves and some stuff to look at me and left us for a bit. Jamal tried to get it on but was havin none of it. The BBC were filmin for gods sake.

When the nurse came back she said that Jamal would have to help so she could see my belly button, he had to hold one of my bellys up, it were right embarrassin but I waved at the camera and gave me best smile. Then she rolled me over to look at my arse. God job I'd shaved it yesterday, now that would have been embarrassin.

Jamal told the lady with the camera that he wanted his face all fuzzy like on Camera Police Akshun. He said because he had four warrants out for his arrest he didn't want to be famous like Peter Andre.

The nurse were right kind. She gave me some tablets and put a dressing on me arse, took me belly ring out and washed it then told me to go see me doctor next week.

Jamal forked out for a taxi on the way home then said he had to go cos he had to get his Mam a new microwave. I love im I do but I'm not sure there were any shops open at 10 o clock on a Sunday night.

Orlando and Destiny were fast asleep on the sofa, they'd eaten all me Rustlers burgers, the buggers.

I ad a right good sleep, Baby Candice Junior didn't wake me once. When I were eatin me breakfast, some lady rang from the social. Baby Candice Junior had been taken into care last night, she was found holding a bottle of coke in er pushchair at the hospital, and was wiv a temporary foster carer, could I go in for a meeting.

Bloody ell. I told her that the nurse had told me to put me feet up and I'd bob along tomorrow. She wasn't happy, but it’s the best I could do.