Review, tuna (39p)

Ive been feelin a bit jumpy as I hadn’t written this review up yet and I meant to do it ages ago after everyone was so nice about my review of gravy.

But I have to go and catch the bus in a bit to pick up Baby Candice Junior off the foster carer she has been with since when I left her up the hospital yesterday. Aww bless her, anyway the foster carer loves her to bits so she won’t mind another half an hour or so, lol. And she wanted to watch hollyoaks. I hope u wont be too worried about me and baby Candice jr - I can sky Plus hollyoaks, but I do need to beack in time for don’t forget the lyrix.

I would of written this up today but Orlando and Destiny went and spewed, they ate all my Rustlers burgers while me and jamal were up the hospital having my ass seen to (makes a change lol) but thing is they never bloody cooked them. And to top it all yesterday Destinys teacher rang as she had been bunking off (Destiny not her teacher lol) and they’d found her in the kentukcy. I know she has been dying to get back in there since she had that incident with the toilet brush but one lot of campalobacter in the one day is enough for anyone.  So Ive sent her out for some fags while I write this up, hope she doesn’t shit herself again on the way back. There are only so many gussets a mummy can turn inside out.

Talking of gussets, better get back to the tuna, LOL.

My review is of Netto tuna. I like Netto because Fergie, the Princess of Wales, shops there. I saw her on the telly, she was kind (and not half as fat as she used to be but still a bit mad) and went to netto for this family and told them not to be such fat bastards. After six weeks they were still fat bastards but they had some nice clothes and they had their hair done so their faces didn’t look so fat. The woman had hairy legs though, but at least they weren’t grey like the ones on jamals back.

I also wanted to write about this tuna as its a bit special and is 1p dearer than the asda (chavsda lol) version. You have to push the boat out sometimes, don’t you. I saved the penny in our jar for when me granddad comes round, hes saving for some vigara, what with me nan being “away.”

My first impressiions of the tuna was that it had a blue tin. When you opened it it was a brown colour with some black bits in and it smelled like jamals fingers but not as bad as his ring.*

The thing is with tins you never no wot youll find,  me mate Gemmas auntie opened some tomatos once and they were all wrapped in condoms but then once I found a dead spider in destinys ready brek so its not just tins. I hope Im not poisoned by the tuna as you can get a disease and die from tuna, next time jamal can try it.

The tuna tasted ok I suppose and not like I was going to be pioisoned lol, I put loads of vinegar on and mashed up a pickled egg in it after I nicked them from the chippy.  I gave some to the kids with a broken jammy dodger for their pudding, it was a nice meal and Id give it 4 stars out of 5.  (It lost one cos of the smell.) Ive saved some for tomorrow too, so it is good value, serving three of us and the cat twice. I didn’t give any to jamal, I think he had his fill at number 9.

 (*Um, the one he dropped down the drain the other week, careless bastard, bet his hands were slippy from number 9. ) 

Ingredients: tuna (fish) water salt

Allergy advice: fish

My first review - Gravy (24p)

Review: Gravy. (24p)

For meat dishes.

Last week I bought some Asda Smart Price Gravy Garanules.

I thought they were very nice but I spilled them on the kitchen floor while I was watching Judge Judy. (I can’t believe it was from 2003. And have you SEEN Sally James Raphael? YAWN>)) Nobody noticed so it was okay and I had cleared the piss up from when my mum came round before she went to Turkey. (Slag)

I like gravy garanules because you can do lots with them. Me and Destiny and Orlando had them with some Smart Price nuggets (50p for 20) which were quite nice as they have a lot (40% - nearly half!!!! Yum) chicken in them and a slice of bread. But Baby Candice Junior also had sum aswell, with Smash. It was quite lucky, i didn't know we had any in but found some behind the fridge.

I liked that they were easy to make. I put some in a cup for me, added some hot water from the tap and that was me DONE. Lol that’s me being Gordon Rmasay, DONE LOL) When I had finished my tea, I added some more hot water to what I’d left over so that Orlando could have some (He’s mummies big boy) and gave some to Destiny as well (but she is on a diet now and I have got her an exercise DVD, it’s by Davina McCall. Love you Davina.) I hope that I can get a WiiFIt with my blog, thats what me mate Gemma told me down the social.

But I’m worried about me benefit. Me mate Gemma blogged about Pizza Hut and they said they wud pay her £40. Do you think I should grass on er? That’s not fair is it. It’s like my cousins friend Mad Reg, he has been off sick for ages and he’s just filmed for Britian’s Strongest Man. I thought that he was bound to be in the shit for that, like those people who have a walking stick at court, but teach judo. How can you pull a lorry when you are off sick, and on the telly aswell? OMG. But he got away with it, Scottish free, the jammy bastard.

Anyway I liked the gravy garanules a lot. I was licking the plate when Jamal came round and asked why I never licked him like that.

I told him you can’t polish a turd. He said something about “man gravy”. I luv it when he gets romantic.

Awwww, now I’m thinking about me mum.

I saw her in Asda when I bought the garanules. I didn’t know she could run that fast. Had a lovely tan though.

Ingredients

Potato Starch , Vegetable Oil , Salt , Wheat Flour , Natural Flavouring (contains Milk) , Beef Fat , Colour (Ammonia Caramel) , Emulsifier (Soya Lecithins) .

Other information

Allergy Advice

There isn’t any

Dietary Information

Contains Gluten. Contains Wheat. Contains Milk. Contains Soya\Soybeans.